Dear Collie:
I have been barking, barking, barking in support of Health Care, per your suggestion. (see The Collie Report …ed.)
Thanks for giving me purpose because even though I am no longer barking AT the coyote, deer (or sneaky raccoons). They think I am – so I’m doing my job without even having to try.
Wooo Hoo, Affordable Health Care!!!
What a convenience!! Multiple purposes accomplished with one barking spree!!
I find I can bark REALLY LOUD and for a REALLY REALLY LONG TIME!
Not sure EVERY dog is able to do this barking thing as well as I. Poor things.
I’m wondering what you would suggest is the best thing to EAT to keep up a dogs’ stamina, other than the usual blah KIBBLE and BISCUITS)
I love to eat but my owner says NO people food which is obviously completely WRONG. (Plus she has me on a DIET!!!)
Writing to you just in case there are other OTHER dogs out there who are too hungry to help further the cause.
Notice me. I’m soooo comitted. BARK, BARK, BARK… Please help.
Your friend,
Waddles-us Bigeyeous (informally known as Waddles)
p.s. I want to hear from Babe because Marguerite is too young and inexperienced to fully know this stuff yet.
p.s.s. See enclosed photo
hi. its me.
So Waddles:
Some instant food eating tips For you.
Screw commercial dog food.
Go for the gourmet. Why have dry kibble when you can dine on take out from Bellagio’s, or That German form the Pancake Haus right? (see food thief) First thing is to draw on your immediate environment. For God’s sake man, you live with a human!
Monitor their every movement. Notice when they are not paying attention. The telephone is a good place to start. All it takes is one well placed biscuit under the refrigerator door and vous a’ la! It’s show time! (especially when the human is WATCHING Showtime.
Grab opportunity at every turn. It’s right under your nose!
When my human feeds Margie (as in Margaret the Rough Coat lassie collie trainee) All I have to say is “Oh NOOOO! Timmy fell down the well! and Marge runs out the door to go find him. When she comes back, Guess what? Tasty burger GONE.
And I say “What? No Timmy?” (No well)
“Golly. Lassie must have got there first.”
You have to Notice. Notice, and think on your feet in order to get a piece of the American Pie, Mister Waddlus Big Eyeus.
May your girth grow with the bounty.
very truly yours,
Babe T. Border collie
p.s. Thanks for barking!
